Lost in the woods? In the words of the late Mitch Hedberg, “Fuck it. Build a house.”
Or better yet, don’t venture off into the woods in the first place without a Survival Wrist Hookah Pro from Shhmokewear. Ever pondered how you could please Tommy Chong and MacGyver at the same time? Well, thanks the company famous for injecting maximum function into 420 fashion, your answer is here.
The included compass means you’ll never get lost again while the 8-10 feet of paracord ( varies by bracelet size) will come in handy in any number of binds. Use the whistle to signal fellow hikers or a rescue squad and get warm by the fire with the provided flint and scraper long after your lighter has given up the ghost. And don’t forget, underneath all those bells and literal whistle is a fully functioning smoking device to keep you toking in the direst of circumstances.
All of this performance is packed into a super-low, keystoned retail price of only $25.00 and backed by Shhmokewear’s guarantee of quality. Display and upgrade options are available.
Pro tip: Pair it up with the LighterBro and you’re damn-near ready for the apocalypse.