Whoa. I just realized that what the bard said is totally true! Indeed, when Shakespeare wrote, “Summer’s lease hath all too short a date,” he not only signaled the brevity of those months between June and September, but also reminded us that winter, and the winter holidays, are just around the corner. Why, one can almost hear them approach as we jingle our way through the darkness toward a new year.
The magic of winter, the magic of the holidays, especially Christmas, comes clear in the music we all share during that precious season. Whether it’s by listening at home on a snowy night, jamming to our favorite green and red tuneage on the road while driving to grandma’s house for a great turkey dinner, or chewing on that sweet and colorful Christmas ear candy humming over department store speakers as we shop, the music of the holidays will always make for memorable moments.
But those tunes need not be either traditional or widely heard to imbue a sense of wonder, a call for peace on earth, or a shout-out to the jolly fat man in charge of it all, as he and his elves make preparations for yet another rockin’ holiday season.
With that in mind, we’ve curated a playlist of offbeat, funky, and less typical Christmas music that keep the festive spirit thriving as much as it keeps your customers grooving as they stroll through your decorated aisles in search of something special for that special someone.
Bailey’s powerful, smokey vocals, along with the song’s high-lariousluy honest lyrics and old-time swing tempo make this song a timeless and funkified Christmas classic. While directly addressing Santa himself, Bailey humorously sets the record straight, authoritatively telling the big, bearded saint in the midst of the song, “It would be so heavenly/ And help me meet both ends, yes indeed/ But old Pearl been needin’ bad/ A five pound box of tens/ Really, how much could that weigh?” The great thing about this song is that Bailey’s composition is a for-real holiday gift: you’ll laugh but you’ll also think about just what the holiday may mean when all the wrapping paper is tossed away.
My pop culture sources tell me that the now massively popular Flaming Lips, led by total freaks Wayne Coyne, Michael Ivins, and Steven Drozd, were once crust punks trolling the streets and parks of Oklahoma City for Christmas treats. Those roots shine through gloriously in this power-pop holiday fantasy as it tells the tale of a Christmas-Eve trip to the zoo, complete with perplexed animals and a really cool discourse about sacrifice and salvation. The narrative ends in a surprise middle-of-the-night snowstorm that gets everyone up and celebrating as Coyne ecstatically sings about the beauty and wonder of it all.
A track from the landmark rock opera, Tommy, this heavy-duty holiday tune features some of the most beautiful yuletide lyrics ever written (Courtesy of Pete Townsend) and some of the most shockingly, rockingly awesome drum fills (Courtesy of Keith Moon) ever put to tape. How’s this for an opening salvo of holiday cheer: Did you ever see the faces of children?/ They get so excited/ Waking up on Christmas morning, hours before the winter sun’s ignited/ They believe in dreams and all they mean, including heaven’s generosity . . .” Of course it’s a shame that Tommy can’t hear any of that; but the rest of us can, so crank this one up and get ready for some air-drumming around ye old Yule log.
Dylan brings his own mirth-filled account of a frenzied holiday party to vivid life in this fantastically lackadaisical, yet gorgeously sentimental cover of an old American Christmas standard. Using his craggy voice and sharp storytelling skills, Dylan brings the whole holiday feeling home in a rollicking, polka-fied, yet insouciant way. “Beard that’s white/ Special night/ Must be Santa/ Santa Claus!” he croons, while imploring all of us to join the party of a lifetime before another year passes—although, what’s the rush? We know from another tune in Zimmy’s catalog that “like the red rose of summer that blooms in the day, time passes slowly and fades away.”
A hip-hop delight whose melody is based upon the immortal tune, “Jingle Bells,” this is a song about the holidays at home in real America. “It’s Christmas Night in Hollis, Queens, and mom’s cooking chicken and collard greens,” it begins. It’s poignantly specifc, yet universally understood—and quickly ties back in with the traditions that unite us rather than divide, with lines like, “each and every year, we bust Christmas Carols.” Featuring a celebratory horn section and the massive turntablism of Jam Master Jay, “Christmas in Hollis” will have your clients six-stepping in the checkout queue as they get a taste of the beautiful diversity of human holiday culture in our United States.
The warmth and charm of this song by Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes demos the fact that R&B may yet prove to be the best vehicle ever devised for spreading essential holiday vibes. Based on a traditional tune recorded by scores of different and divergent musicians over the years, TLC’s version hits different, mixing the timeless with the timely though ad-libbed lyrics that reflect on themes of “love and joy and happiness … and lots of good cheer.” By song’s end, just about everyone listening should be ready to take Left Eye’s advice and “take the road before us and sing a chorus . . . It’s lovely weather for a sleigh ride for two!”
Do you really want your customers to rock out while they shop out? Then this song is a must for your head shop holiday playlist. This genuine proto-punk production has a sense of uplift and rebellion that not only provides an opportunity to think about the true meaning of the winter holidays, but also gives listeners a chance to hear Ray Davies and company get noisily subversive and nostalgic at the same time – all while keeping a solid beat supported by magical Christmas bells. Take “Father Christmas” at his word when he drops his Rock-n-Roll identity at song’s end to proclaim: “Have yourselves a good time, but remember the kids who got nothing while you’re drinking down your wine.”
Are you perplexed or conflicted about how to properly refer to the Winter Holidays? Well, let bizarre art rockers and American counter-cultural icons DEVO do the wet work for you. In this trippy yet altogether compelling sing-along, the Mothersbaughs and Casales are in top – and sometimes wacky – New Wave form, urging listeners to indulge their brightest and darkest holiday wishes while acknowledging the meaninglessness (or meaningfulness) of it all. As the lads from Ohio tell it, “Whether you’re Christian, Muslim or Jew, Happy Holidays/ Any ol’ dance that you like to do, Happy Holidays/ Eat, bite, drink up, nibble, gobble, chew, Happy Holidays!
Ben Fold’s penchant for writing plangently insightful pop tunes laden with elaborately played piano arrangements is well known in the American music scene. What’s not so well known is this pricelessly hysterical holiday tune rolled out by Folds and company in just under three minutes. Here, listeners are made hip to a bizarre Christmas incident in which a naked Santa gets stuck in a chimney … as well as the event’s aftermath, including the “buckets of Crisco” needed to free him, and the resulting fear that “Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our ass.” The inherent hilarity on display here, combined with the infectiously catchy refrain, will be a great stress-buster for listeners heavy with a day’s worth of shopping under their arms.
“God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” is a traditional Christmas carol that comes to us from England. Many say it was written in the 18th century, but some say it was first played as early as 1650. Whatever the historical case may be for this truly classic tune, indie rock darling, David Bazan’s interpretation of the song is both intensely poignant and hauntingly dark, just like winter itself. Bazan’s version – which includes some of his own lyrics – displays the perfect mix of sounds, sentiments and themes necessary to properly end a Holiday playlist: the deeply sonorous and echoing vocals, the rumbling, ringing guitar notes that set the stage for a mysterious tale that we all know yet still marvel at – even if we continue to question everything about it as the years pass. “Sipping Christmas whiskey, wondering if I still believe, Oh tidings of comfort and joy.” Tidings of comfort and joy, indeed.
