Your heart got shattered, but your glass isn’t, thanks to the Mad Toto X-Large Tube Case. Built tougher than the no-contact order, it features a rugged fiber shell, tear-resistant nylon, and a waterproof zipper so secure it would’ve put that locked phone of hers to shame. Inside, dual elastic straps and heavy padding cradle your glass like you wish someone would hold you. Absolutely dwarfing you at a respectable 7 inches long and 3 inches wide, it’s perfect for pipes, your will to live, and the other fragile things she left in her wake. Choose from charcoal grey, purple, black, or green, and use the carabiner to clip it onto your bag or belt loop for those moments when you need to make a quick escape—like when the cops doorknock you over the missing custody payments.