It’s your mother. If you’re reading this, that means it’s lunch time and you’re wondering where your sandwich is. I made you a turkey and cheese on white bread just how you like it; four triangles, crust removed. I even added the Funyons. But sweetheart, you used up all of my Ziploc bags on that silly smoke of yours. Yes, I know what you’ve been doing. You eat your ham sandwich with Funyons, for gosh sake. It’s OK. You’re 30.
But I’m not OK with you storing your grass in my sandwich baggies when White Rhino has a perfectly good storage jar called the PRUF for only $20. The McFarley boy next door bought six of them the other day—that’s one of each color combination—and he’s super happy with them. They’re made of thick glass and cradled in silicone so they’re tough to break, and they have a see-through window. And honey, they have an airtight seal and hold ten grams. That’s like, 30 doobies! The McFarley boy says they also have a silicone concentrate dish right at the bottom that’s perfect for dabbing, but I’m not sure what that is. Sweetheart, I don’t smoke your sandwiches. Please don’t put grass in my Ziploc bags.
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